We knew the name within an hour of finding out she was pregnant. We batted around a couple of ideas, and when “Malaya” jumped out we both knew this would be the name. It took neither one of us to convince the other. We just knew. “Malaya” is Tagalog for “Free”.
Some have asked me what it felt like to discover that I would be a father. It’s not an easy thing to put into words. In fact, it’s beyond complex. Poetry may be the only verbal or written medium where it could even be attempted. So, here it is—to the best of my ability. Here is what it felt like.
Malaya
Everywhere they sense it
To the west in the mountains
the junco hops to the cedar’s highest twig
and warbles out to the east
the marmot comes out from beneath his rock
and twitches his whiskers east
the big ram balances on a granite crag
and nods his great curled horns to the east
To the south in the sun-stroked deserts
the scorpion stops in the underbrush
and scrabbles to face the north
the wary diamondback quiets his rattle
and flickers his tongue to the north
the gray fox peers from her rocky den
and turns her head to the north
To the east where grasses sing to passing clouds
the large elk cranes his rack from the stream
and fills his eyes with the west
the black-tailed prairie dogs climb from the earth
and gaze as one to the west
the bald eagle breaks from her circled flight
and rises on winds from the west
To the north on the ageless tundra
the stern-faced grizzly stops to check the breeze
and points his nose to the south
the caribou pause on long expanses of green
and lift their heads to the south
the ptarmigan hops to a boulder-top
and studies the view to the south
Even on the far side of the world
the lion shakes his mane and sniffs
quietly at the air
the elephant matriarch raises her trunk
fans her ears and scans the horizon
the old crocodile holds his lunge and allows
the watering wildebeest to bound away
And for a moment
for the briefest inkling of time
the sun the distant stars
the planets and their moons
the far-flung comets and meteors
and even the most faded galaxies
pause completely still
For a new star has flared life in the darkness
borne on ancient cosmic winds
from the dust of all that has ever been
And his name is Free
as white billowed clouds
as thistledown on the breeze
as cottonwood seeds blown through the void
as starlight flashed through geometries of night
Our son is due to arrive around June 21st.