For those of us who are for some reason pre-conditioned to seek out our “other half”—our “soul-mate”—such that we are lonely and miserable without her or him, there is a great and sudden freedom that comes from just letting go of the entire soul-mate paradigm, and all the festering desires and expectations that infest it. The moment you realize and accept that some magical other is not actually the answer to solving the problem of an ever crushing loneliness, you become open to finding other ways to deal with and address it.

This happened for me the night I left the Devil’s Tower National Monument on my way to Vermont as I camped off the beaten path alone in the last range of mountains before dropping down into and across the Great Plains of South Dakota. I have no idea why it happened, it just did. And so I wrote this small note.

note to soul mate

This poem has been published in my book an inkling hope: select poems, available in Kindle and paperback formats. Out of consideration for those who have purchased a copy, I have removed it from this post and online viewing in general.

Well, from Evanston, WY, where I posted my previous entry, I went east on I80 to Rock Springs. Then I went north on Hwy 191 to SR (State Route) 28, north east to Hwy 287, north through Lander to SR 798, north east through Riverton up Hwy 26 through Shoshoni, north on Hwy 20 a few miles to Boysen State Park, where I slept the night five feet from the windy waters of Boysen Reservoir.

In the morning I woke and continued up Hwy 20 through Worland, east on Hwy 16 through Buffalo onto I90, east to Hwy 14, north to SR 24, then north a handful of miles to Wyoming’s Devil’s Tower National Monument. Here I walked around the tower, an impressive site, and played my bansuri atop a hill on each side of the tower, facing the four winds, and then at the west facing bouldered base of the tower itself.

Though the park and trail were riddled with tourists, I found myself feeling secluded through my own process. On the east of the tower I played my bansuri in the woods, just out of site of the trail. I tried to play the wind, the trees, the environment. A new song came to me and I’ve been playing with it. I looked up to discover two teenage girls standing six feet from me. They had gone searching through the woods for the source of the music they heard. Faces bright and full of song, they shyly complimented my playing. They seemed to want to stay and talk to me, to find out what sort of creature walks into the woods with a bamboo flute to play for the spirits, but they couldn’t help looking over their shoulders after the sound of their names. And, after some hesitant smiling and wringing of hands, they returned to the trail.

The area was full of lava boulders that had eroded from the tower through the ages. I bounded along them like a mountain goat until I found each of the five spots that seemed right to me, then played for twenty or so minutes. South of the tower I played on a ridge top, standing on a boulder beneath a pine. In the distance a thunderstorm passed an occasional lightning bolt to the earth in complete silence. About when I was ready to leave, I looked up to notice an undecorated leather medicine bag hung from the tree I was under, just over my head. Upon seeing it I felt a tingle run through my body, head to foot. This felt significant.

With an hour of sunlight to spare I left the park and continued north on SR 24 past Hulett where it turned east, looking for a road into the national park there where I could pitch my tent for the night. I found a spot, beautiful, green, peaceful, bustling with insect and animal life. I knew that I’d find nothing of the sort the next day as I went east across South Dakota, so I relished this lush haven.

Before the sun broke free of the ridge top I had my tent collapsed and everything ready to go, and I got back to SR 24 and continued east into South Dakota to Hwy 85, a couple of miles through to the north side of Belle Fourche, where I got a truck stop shower. From here I went east on Hwy 212 through Faith, to Gettysburg, where I stopped to get something to eat. The café owners informed me that Hwy 212 was closed further east, and that there was a 45 minute detour around it. I found a 20 minute detour option. At Lebanon I went north on SR 47 to SR 20, east to SR 37, south back down to Hwy 212 at Dolland. Then east to within 5 miles of Watertown where I camped at Sandy Shore State Recreation Area, a thin strip of campsites hardly off the road.

This morning I woke just as the sun peaked over the flat horizon, large and orange, and packed up to continue my venture, east on Hwy 212 into Minnesota to Montevideo, east on SR 7 over to SR 23, and north to Paynesville, where I found a coffee house to type and post this.

I have an idea where I’ll be going tonight before I camp again, but I’d rather not say. I never know until I go. The road unfolds as I drive, and I choose my way moment by moment. Detailed plans are for people who have no faith in adventure.

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