Self discovery implies the existence of a self to discover—something clearer than metaphor, more concrete than abstraction. Yet when we press our inward eye against the pane of our being, we find ourselves gaping into the unknown, seeing only the dust of time and culture that has accumulated there like soot.

We wave our hands and fidget our fingers as we strive to express it, “It’s like a mustard seed …”, “It’s like a reflection …”, “It’s that place from which all experience …”, and it goes on. Almost always it is “like”, it is “as”, it is simile and metaphor. It never just is. And after so many years with my face pressed flat against that pane, I can’t seem to figure out where or what it is. So I’ve let go of trying to answer that age old question of, “Who am I?” I’ve let go even of the asking.

I am. Or at least I think I am. Whatever I is, however it happened, it’s here—And it just is.

        Creation

        You are already all
                you have longed to be
close your eyes and breathe
        trust in the rhythm of inspiration

        The work is done
                all that remains now
is the clear crisp waters of faith
        on your sapling words

        They sprouted when your soul was new
                in dark brown soils where
confusion percolated down to nourish
        tiny roots of sentience

        Blind to all knowing they pushed
                cracked open the earth and spread
tremulous shoots
        glittering themes of light

        What could be eons passed
                bending with the sun
singing out to stars perhaps
        long since vanished

        All unwitting you kept
                your garden safe from saws
that would plane your understanding
        into signposts and billboards

        A garden not unlike perhaps
                the long ago Eden that once
rustled softly in morning winds
        yearning to the step of creation

        Now open your eyes
                and behold strong green sprays
swaying over streams of time
        they were always there

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